Unshakeable Read online

  Keira and I didn’t discuss the topic for the next few days. I wanted to give her a few days to think it over before she committed to the idea. Everything depended on her. And she couldn’t reverse her decision. After I made it, there was no going back.

  After my sister passed away, I empowered myself with my body. I built myself up, becoming strong and indestructible. Once I was a concrete wall, I started to use that to my advantage. Keira wasn’t afraid of me, and she liked it when I accompanied her places, but she was still fearful of those around her. She didn’t cringe when someone raised their arm, but she certainly watched them. Making her strong would give her the confidence she needed. I knew she could do it if she put her mind to it. I knew my girl was small, but she was unbreakable.

  Keira and I drove down to the fields inland and picked a batch of California Poppies. She was quiet the entire time, saying nothing. I was too depressed to talk. This day was always hard for me. I remembered the final minutes of her life. I remembered everything.

  I hardly cried. It took a lot of emotion and trauma to finally push me to that point. But when she passed away, I sobbed. I wasn’t afraid to admit it. It killed me. And I never recovered.

  Keira glanced at me every few minutes but quickly turned away. She was silently checking on me. She didn’t ask me how I felt. It was pretty clear. When she had a batch in her hand, she walked to me. “They are beautiful.”

  I stared at them, watching the breeze ruffle the pedals. The sunrise highlighted the orange hue. Eva’s face came into my mind, her beautiful smile and infectious laugh. I never thought I’d have to do this every year, lay flowers on her grave. But I did. “They’re nice.”

  She rubbed my arm gently. “Do we need more?”

  I handed her mine and she bundled them together. “That’s plenty.”

  Keira brought them to her face and inhaled. A slight blush moved into her cheeks. Despite the pain in my heart, I was mesmerized by the sight. Keira closed her eyes while she smelled the scent. She seemed so peaceful, so secure. I knew that was because of me. That was one thing to be thankful for on this atrocious day.

  I took her hand. “Let’s go.”

  When we returned to the truck, she grabbed the vase and placed the flowers inside. She arranged them until they were perfect. Then she got comfortable in the passenger seat, strapping her safety belt across her chest. Meticulous, I checked the lock then shut the door. She didn’t question my actions anymore. In fact, she appreciated them.

  I got into the driver seat and shut the door. Normally, I had the radio on, but I left it off today. I needed silence. It didn’t feel right to hear the emotion of other people. Keira glanced at me then opened her water bottle. She poured everything inside the vase so the flowers would last a little longer. She arranged them one more time before she looked out the window, staring at the field again. I knew she was as depressed as I was, but she kept a straight face for me.

  We got onto the road and drove in silence. I wasn’t affectionate with her because I wasn’t in the mood. Flashbacks of my sister came to me, haunting me. I never wanted to kill someone so much before. And if I knew I could get away with murder, I’d kill Derek in a heartbeat. And I wouldn’t be merciful.

  I reached the cemetery and drove down the path. Graves marked the grass, pictures and engravings indicating the lives of the deceased. I always remembered where my sister lay. It was impossible to forget.

  I turned off the truck then sat still. Keira didn’t move or speak. There were times when I didn’t want to do this. It was just too damn hard. But I had to honor her. I had to remember her. Because I loved her. After a deep breath, I opened the driver’s door and jumped out.

  Keira slowly got out of the truck, the heavy vase in her hands. I reached for it, but she waved me away. “I got it.”

  I moved my arm around her waist then walked across the grass. When we reached the spot, I stopped. Her tombstone was three feet high. A picture of her marked the stone. She was smiling. I remembered the picture like yesterday. It was her sixteenth birthday and my parents got her a brand new car.

  Keira moved to her knees then placed the vase on the grave. She didn’t rise and stared at the engraving.

  Forever Loved and Forever Missed By All

  She placed her hand against it and felt the stone. She moved across it, feeling the granite under her skin. Then she sat quietly, just staring.

  I remained on my feet, knowing my sister was directly under me. A flood of emotions washed through me. Pain was predominant. It always was. Would I always feel this way? Would I always hurt? Would I always be so angry? This shouldn’t have happened to her. I wished it had been me.

  Keira rose to her feet then came beside me. Her hand gripped mine and she laced our fingers together. Her faint pulse throbbed against my wrist. Keira could have shared the same fate as my sister and I wouldn’t have the support I needed, the connection that got me through every single day. Life without Keira was unthinkable.

  When I remembered my sister, I only concentrated on the good things. Even though she teased me when we were little, I still loved her because I had to. But when we got older, the protective side of me emerged. I was pissed when guys talked about her in a perverted way. When she wasn’t home by curfew, I hounded her to get her ass home.

  She and I fought like crazy, but we had each other’s backs until the end of time. We would sneak out of the house and get fast food when my mom made tuna casserole, which we both hated. Discreetly, we tossed it when our mom didn’t notice then told her we loved it. And we snickered to ourselves.

  She was always smart in science. If she were still alive, she probably would have pursued her passion and did something productive with her life. She would have contributed to the livelihood of all. And Derek, he was sitting in jail, which was too good for him. If he ever got out, I’d kill him. Fucking kill him.

  The sound of a sniff shattered my thoughts.

  Keira was crying. The tears fell down her cheeks, falling onto the grass below our feet. Her lip quivered. The moisture reflected the light of the sun, highlighting the emotion she felt in her soul.

  I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and held her close to me. “It’s okay…”

  “I’m so sorry this happened to you.”

  I kissed her forehead. “I know.”

  She buried her face into my chest, her arm hooked around my waist.

  With her face averted, I let the moisture build up in my eyes. I felt the sting as unspent tears increased. They became hot as I battled with my emotions. I didn’t like to cry. It was weak. But I was struggling.

  Keira tightened her hold on me, still crying.

  Together, we stood at Eva’s grave and held our silence. I remembered my sister and the best parts of her life. I tried to focus on that to make myself feel better, but I somehow felt worse.

  When a half an hour passed, I pulled Keira’s face away then kissed her tears. She stopped crying but her cheeks were still wet.

  She sniffed. “You’re comforting me, but…I should be doing it to you.”

  “You are,” I whispered. I kissed her again, tasting the tears.

  “I just hate knowing you had to go through this. I know exactly how you feel…”

  “Which is why I’m meant for you.” I didn’t believe in soul mates, but I believed in the truth. I was broken and so was she. But we managed to grab our crumbled pieces and combine them together, becoming unbreakable.

  A small smile moved into her lips but it disappeared just as quickly.

  Footsteps approached us from behind. I looked over my shoulder and saw an older man and woman arrive at the site. I knew who they were as soon as I saw them. They were Derek’s parents.

  His mother flinched when she saw me. Every year, flowers were laid on her grave from everyone who missed her, and I wondered if they came every year just like the rest of us.

  She stared at me then averted her gaze. “We just came to pay our respects.”

 
They weren’t guilty of the crime, but I couldn’t stand either one of them. Knowing they created the monster who killed my sister automatically enraged me. I didn’t like them and I never would. I said nothing and pretended they weren’t there.

  His mother laid the flowers next to ours, and she and her husband stood there quietly. His arm hooked around their waist and they bowed their heads. I became angry. Why hadn’t Derek died instead? He deserved it. Why did it have to be my sister? With all the bad shit that happens in the world, why did it have to affect my sister? Why was everything so unfair?

  Derek’s father nodded to me. “We’re sorry for your loss.”

  I should speak but I couldn’t. I didn’t look at them.

  They trailed away. I waited until the sound of their footsteps disappeared before I stopped listening for them. Maybe they were sincere about what happened, but maybe they weren’t. Maybe they believed Derek was innocent. It didn’t matter. I hated them anyway.

  Keira didn’t ask who they were. She was silent and still.

  When footsteps appeared again, I suspected who it was. I turned and saw my parents. My mother was already in tears, and my dad was on the brink. They came to our side then stared at the grave. We didn’t acknowledge each other.

  My mother laid the boutique on the grave then sobbed. Losing a child was never easy, and I knew my parents would suffer until the end of their lives. My dad came behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders. She patted his hand gently then controlled her tears. She sniffed then wiped her nose. “My baby…”

  “I know,” my dad whispered. “If there’s a heaven, that’s where she is.”

  “Of course.”

  My parents shouldn’t have to go through this. No parent deserved it.

  We stood together for an hour, no one speaking. The birds chirped in the air, and the wind whistled lightly as it blew passed my ear. Keira’s hand squeezed my waist and reminded me she was there, being the crutch I needed.

  My dad turned to me. “Let’s get something to eat.”

  “Okay.”

  My mom moved to Keira then hugged her. “Thank you for coming.”

  “Of course, Pam.”

  She pulled away and gave Keira a weak smile. “I’m happy knowing my son has someone he can rely on.”

  “And that person is me,” she said quietly.

  My dad wrapped his arm around my mom. “Let’s go.”

  I looked at the grave one more time before I walked away, knowing I would return in a year and feel exactly the same.

  Chapter Five

  Liam

  Five Years Earlier…

  My parents were eating breakfast at the table the next morning. My dad always had oatmeal because his cholesterol was bad. Actually, my mom made him eat it. As a result, we all had to do it so he wouldn’t be tempted to eat bacon.

  Eva was at the table, and when she noticed me, she glared at me. I hadn’t told my parents what happened. I didn’t have a chance. And I knew she was threatening me not to. I would get another slap to the face if I opened my mouth.

  Like I cared.

  I grabbed my bowl then sat at the table. Eva glanced at me and kept eating.

  My mom eyed us. “Everything alright?”

  I shoveled the food into my mouth, keeping my silence.

  Eva answered. “Yeah.”

  My mom watched us but didn’t press the topic. “What did you do yesterday?”

  “Came home from school and did my homework,” Eva blurted.

  Like that would cover her ass.

  “Liam?” my mom asked. “What did you do?”

  “I went out with the guys.”

  Eva continued to threaten me with her eyes.

  “What time did you get home?” my mom asked.

  “At six,” I said.

  My dad finished his bowl then read the paper.

  Eva breathed a sigh of relief, knowing I was going to keep her secret.

  Think again. “Eva was fucking her boyfriend when I walked inside.”

  Eva kicked me under the table as hard as she could. I took the pain and didn’t react. “I did not!”

  My dad stilled and his eyes widened. My mom gasped.

  I continued. “Derek is a fucking asshole. He’s a piece of shit, he cheats on Eva, and I don’t like him! I threw him out of the house since Eva can’t keep her damn legs closed.”

  She kicked me again.

  “You think that hurts?” I snapped.

  Eva’s eyes breathed fire then she slapped me.

  “Knock it off!” my mom yelled.

  Eva hit me again but I grabbed her wrist and pushed her back.

  My mom turned her rage on my sister. “You are too young to be having sex!”

  “I’m nineteen and in college.”

  I never liked the fact Derek was younger than her. “Why don’t you get a real boyfriend? Not a guy in high school? You’re such a loser.”

  “I love him,” she snapped.

  “Well, he doesn’t love you,” he countered.

  “Shut up, Liam,” my mom commanded.

  “What?” I yelled. “What did I do? Eva is the one who can’t—”

  “I said shut up!”

  I closed my mouth and clenched my jaw.

  My dad folded the paper. “Liam, get to school. We’re going to have a talk with your sister.”

  I left the table and headed to the door.

  “I hate you!” Eva yelled. “I can’t believe you stabbed me in the back like that.”

  I ignored her.

  “You don’t think I’ll rat you out for everything?”

  “I don’t give a shit, Eva.” I walked out then slammed the door.

  When I saw Derek at school, he gave me a look of hate. I didn’t have a class with him, but I saw him in the hallway. His cronies surrounded him, glaring at me at the same time. I glared back, not afraid of anything he could do.

  I was in a bad mood all day. I couldn’t concentrate on my classes because I was so pissed. But my parents knew so they would take care of it. Since Derek was younger than she, hopefully they would force her to break up with him. I just didn’t like him being near my sister. She needed to get a real man in her life.

  When football practice arrived, I pretended Derek wasn’t there. If not, I’d tackle him and beat the shit out of him all over again. But I felt his stare deep in the back of my neck. I knew he wanted retribution for what I did. He would never get it.

  On the field, I focused on the game. When I concentrated, the rage dissipated slightly. My body was pushed to the limit, and that occupied my mind for a while. The endorphins leaked into my body and lowered the pain I felt. I just needed to push the players aside and knock them over. It always felt better when I crashed into someone and destroyed them.

  After practice, we went into the locker room. Jeremiah eyed me. “You alright, man?”

  “Fine.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “You seem on edge.”

  “I’m fine,” I repeated. I showered and kept my eyes to myself. My muscles were sore from the practice session. They still contracted and tightened. I dried my hair and body then changed into my street clothes.

  The rest of the guys dropped the conversation. They knew I wasn’t in the mood to talk.

  “Well, see you tomorrow,” Jeremiah said.

  “Yeah,” I said.

  Tom left with him. I stayed in the locker room and packed my things.

  “Look who’s all alone?”

  I knew it was Derek without looking. “If you don’t want to get your ass kicked again, I suggest you walk away.”

  “I never walk away.”

  I finally looked at him, seeing his two friends behind him.

  I smirked then shook my head slightly. “You can’t take me on by yourself so you bring your guys. Lame.”

  “I think you’re scared.”

  I slammed my locker then glared at him. “I’m not scared of a pussy.”

  Derek’s face reddened slig
htly. “I’ll show you who’s a pussy.”

  “You mean, you and your two friends,” I said. “Because. You. Are. A. Pussy.”

  He clenched his fists then approached me. His bodyguards came with him, their shoulders tense and their eyes glued to me.

  “You think I’m scared to take all of you on?” I took a defensive stance, the adrenaline kicking in my veins. “Believe me. I’m not.”

  Derek stopped in front of me, a gloating smile on his face. “No one will hear you scream, cunt.” He shoved me as hard as he could.

  I went with the motion and stepped back, getting space for the next attack.

  “Hold him!” Derek was on me again.

  Mitchell threw a punch at me, but I kneed him in the stomach, making him bend slightly and catch his breath. At the same time, Crone came at me, his knuckles directed at my face. I kicked him in the knee then braced myself for Mitchell once again. A punch landed on my jaw, drawing blood, but that just pissed me off.

  I shoved Mitchell into the locker then punched him in the mouth, making blood spit out as his head turned. I gave him another hit just so he would back off.

  Crone grabbed my shoulders then pulled me back, his arm hooking around my throat.

  “Your sister sucks in bed anyway. And she doesn’t give good head.” Derek smirked while he watched Crone choke me.

  The rage exploded. I flung my head back so hard I broke Crone’s nose. I heard the distinctive crack. Too far gone for logical thought, I rushed Derek and went ape-shit crazy. I was going to kill this fucker for coming near my sister. He would be a dreadful mistake she could never take back. But I wanted him to suffer for it.

  I used all my strength and gave him a punch he would never forget. I felt the bones of his face as my fist collided into his frame. The blood was on my hands, but it felt so fucking good. Derek fell back then tried to cower away from me.

  “Pussy!” I grabbed him by the foot and dragged him back. “Don’t fuck with my sister.”

  Derek tried to scramble away.